Ah Simi! This post... I just decided to give up on querying this week with my first MS. It's the third time I'm querying it (extensive rewrites each time) but the waiting and the rejections have made me lose all faith. Reading this though... haha. Now I don't know what to do.
I thought about giving up every time I got a rejection - and some of the wording on the few personalised rejections was like a dagger through the heart!
Do you feel like you’ve stopped too early? Or is it because of the toll it takes on mental health? It really is brutal.
I honestly don't know. I started querying this iteration mid January and have about 20 rejections now. (some of them CNR) It's so disheartening you lose complete faith in your writing. I'm working on book two now and have decided to self-pub book 1, but I'm still unsure it's the right decision.
Congrats on finding your agent btw! Louise seems like a dream agent.
I think you have to really listen to your inner intuition when it comes to querying - and it sounds like self-publishing is the right thing for you right now. Unless you’ve been there, it is impossible to understand how soul-destroying rejections are!
You’ll have to let me know when your book is out!
And Louise is great - everything I could’ve wished for in an agent.
I will! I'm experimenting with posting the first few chapters on Substack. I've made a separate publication (holdontoyourheart.substack.com), but so far it's mostly just giving me anxiety. haha.
Thanks for this. It gives me some hope. I’m currently working my way through a spreadsheet in small batches, sending emails every few weeks. I totally believe in my manuscript so it is heartbreaking to receive rejections but worse, somehow, to be ghosted.
Wishing you the best of luck with your querying - it really is a labour of love. I totally understand the heartbreak - I tried to hold on to the fact that it a rejection is a business decision and not a reflection of my worth as a writer.
Thanks for sharing. I've been through the pitching process and came out the other side with a 2-book deal and a great advance. I did some blind queries, but all of my interested agents came from referrals or a pitch conference I attended in Minneapolis. Pro tip: as soon as an agent shows interest, notify all the others in your queue. They will all suddenly want to represent you!
If I had to do it over again...honestly, I wouldn't. I found the Big 5 publishing credibility I'd sought to be not as fulfilling as I'd expected. (We were with St Martin's Press/Macmillan). It was a big company, one size fits all experience that left me very disillusioned with the industry. I'll boil it down this way: they wanted to sell books and we wanted to find readers. (There's a difference. It's a big one.)
I admire your grit and patience. I can tell just by reading your post that you don't need that agent or the publisher that she will (hopefully) find for you. All the best.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your journey - so much great advice there for new writers and a reminder that there are many paths to publishing work.
I hope that my grit and determination can take me over the next hurdle!
Congratulations on signing with your dream agent! I wish you the best of luck with finding a publisher.
I found an agent in London very quickly 2 decades ago when I shopped my romcom. There followed a rollercoaster ride as editors of publishing houses loved it, but there as always someone at the top of the tree who said no! It was awful and went on for two years. I was a nervous wreck and incapable of writing a decent second book because of it! I'm not recounting this to freak anyone out, it was just my experience as a hypersensitive, anxiety ridden, intense people pleaser. Long story short, I crashed and burned, broke up with my agent (which was silly, retrospectively, but I was clueless as to how the business worked and afraid to ask) and a few years later got a deal with a small American publisher, and my book sold a little, won a few prizes, then disappeared off the face of the earth. I got my right back before covid and then republished myself through amazon in 2023. I'm 63 now, so I'm doing the same for my upcoming poetry book because, well, it's poetry, I'm the age I am, not in the best of health and don't want to wait around. I plan to release another poetry book in a few months.
Again, GOOD LUCK!! I'm excited for you and crossing everything for you, too.
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your journey Cesca - as a new writer I’m always so interested in other people’s journey’s. This industry seems so opaque when you’re just starting out and the more I learn, the more I can understand that whatever happens isn’t personal - that this is a business and ultimately my art will be a product. I’m already worrying about going on sub, as I know it is just as testing on the emotions as querying - but I’m doing my best to manage expectation.
I’m so happy for you that you managed to get off the rollercoaster and found your place on the other side… that you’re not waiting around or letting the other pressures of Iife stop you from doing what you love… that you’re publishing and creating!
Thanks so much for sharing, what an interesting read. Congrats on landing your dream agent and persevering through the query trenches. Appreciate the transparent insights 🤩🙌
Thank you for taking the time to read and I’m so pleased you found it interesting. It has been a long road and there is an even longer one ahead, but I just love writing. Are you a reader or a writer or both?
It’s true, we put ourselves through all this rejection and hard work because, well, we love to write! Reader and writer over here. Took a little writing hiatus while I started a fam but back into a project (half way through rewrites) and feeling optimistic, if not also tired 🥱 hehe
I'm wishing you all the luck in the world with your querying Mary... I'm looking forward to reading your Stats and Hacks post too! And as you know, I'm always happy to share advice.
As a writer with 30 years of finance experience in “a former life” this blend of left brain and right brain information speaks to me.
Just yesterday, I submitted my manuscript as a capstone project toward graduating with a MFA in May. After that, more editing then I begin the querying process.
Posts like yours help me prepare for what’s ahead.
Congratulations on submitting your manuscript Brian! That’s a huge milestone. I’m so glad that sharing my experiences helps you… that’s what I found with all the blogs and posts I read whilst I was writing and querying.
Congratulations on submitting your manuscript! That’s a huge milestone. I’m so glad that sharing my experiences helps you… that’s what I found with all the blogs and posts I read whilst I was writing and querying.
Hi Simi. I don't know whether this is relevant. But seriously, are you waiting for the approval from an agent in this digital era?
People are monetising much more easily by publishing their creativity in social media, building their audience and self publish to their audience who loves to buy their book.
I appreciate your patience for months. I couldn't imagine myself in your place. Its seriously a horrible experience even when I imagine.
Its like one of the incident Nicolas Cole told in one of his interviews about which I have written a newsletter about.
Ah Simi! This post... I just decided to give up on querying this week with my first MS. It's the third time I'm querying it (extensive rewrites each time) but the waiting and the rejections have made me lose all faith. Reading this though... haha. Now I don't know what to do.
I thought about giving up every time I got a rejection - and some of the wording on the few personalised rejections was like a dagger through the heart!
Do you feel like you’ve stopped too early? Or is it because of the toll it takes on mental health? It really is brutal.
I honestly don't know. I started querying this iteration mid January and have about 20 rejections now. (some of them CNR) It's so disheartening you lose complete faith in your writing. I'm working on book two now and have decided to self-pub book 1, but I'm still unsure it's the right decision.
Congrats on finding your agent btw! Louise seems like a dream agent.
I think you have to really listen to your inner intuition when it comes to querying - and it sounds like self-publishing is the right thing for you right now. Unless you’ve been there, it is impossible to understand how soul-destroying rejections are!
You’ll have to let me know when your book is out!
And Louise is great - everything I could’ve wished for in an agent.
I will! I'm experimenting with posting the first few chapters on Substack. I've made a separate publication (holdontoyourheart.substack.com), but so far it's mostly just giving me anxiety. haha.
Amazing - I’ll have a read and subscribe! That takes so much courage.
Oh that’s so kind! Thank you! 🧡
No problem - we writers need to support each other!
Thanks for this. It gives me some hope. I’m currently working my way through a spreadsheet in small batches, sending emails every few weeks. I totally believe in my manuscript so it is heartbreaking to receive rejections but worse, somehow, to be ghosted.
Wishing you the best of luck with your querying - it really is a labour of love. I totally understand the heartbreak - I tried to hold on to the fact that it a rejection is a business decision and not a reflection of my worth as a writer.
Thanks for sharing. I've been through the pitching process and came out the other side with a 2-book deal and a great advance. I did some blind queries, but all of my interested agents came from referrals or a pitch conference I attended in Minneapolis. Pro tip: as soon as an agent shows interest, notify all the others in your queue. They will all suddenly want to represent you!
If I had to do it over again...honestly, I wouldn't. I found the Big 5 publishing credibility I'd sought to be not as fulfilling as I'd expected. (We were with St Martin's Press/Macmillan). It was a big company, one size fits all experience that left me very disillusioned with the industry. I'll boil it down this way: they wanted to sell books and we wanted to find readers. (There's a difference. It's a big one.)
I admire your grit and patience. I can tell just by reading your post that you don't need that agent or the publisher that she will (hopefully) find for you. All the best.
Thanks so much for reading and sharing your journey - so much great advice there for new writers and a reminder that there are many paths to publishing work.
I hope that my grit and determination can take me over the next hurdle!
Those qualities will get you there. Of that, there is no doubt.
Thank you!
Dear Simi,
Congratulations on signing with your dream agent! I wish you the best of luck with finding a publisher.
I found an agent in London very quickly 2 decades ago when I shopped my romcom. There followed a rollercoaster ride as editors of publishing houses loved it, but there as always someone at the top of the tree who said no! It was awful and went on for two years. I was a nervous wreck and incapable of writing a decent second book because of it! I'm not recounting this to freak anyone out, it was just my experience as a hypersensitive, anxiety ridden, intense people pleaser. Long story short, I crashed and burned, broke up with my agent (which was silly, retrospectively, but I was clueless as to how the business worked and afraid to ask) and a few years later got a deal with a small American publisher, and my book sold a little, won a few prizes, then disappeared off the face of the earth. I got my right back before covid and then republished myself through amazon in 2023. I'm 63 now, so I'm doing the same for my upcoming poetry book because, well, it's poetry, I'm the age I am, not in the best of health and don't want to wait around. I plan to release another poetry book in a few months.
Again, GOOD LUCK!! I'm excited for you and crossing everything for you, too.
Cesca xx
Thank you so much for reading and sharing your journey Cesca - as a new writer I’m always so interested in other people’s journey’s. This industry seems so opaque when you’re just starting out and the more I learn, the more I can understand that whatever happens isn’t personal - that this is a business and ultimately my art will be a product. I’m already worrying about going on sub, as I know it is just as testing on the emotions as querying - but I’m doing my best to manage expectation.
I’m so happy for you that you managed to get off the rollercoaster and found your place on the other side… that you’re not waiting around or letting the other pressures of Iife stop you from doing what you love… that you’re publishing and creating!
Good luck to you too!
Thanks so much for sharing, what an interesting read. Congrats on landing your dream agent and persevering through the query trenches. Appreciate the transparent insights 🤩🙌
Thank you for taking the time to read and I’m so pleased you found it interesting. It has been a long road and there is an even longer one ahead, but I just love writing. Are you a reader or a writer or both?
It’s true, we put ourselves through all this rejection and hard work because, well, we love to write! Reader and writer over here. Took a little writing hiatus while I started a fam but back into a project (half way through rewrites) and feeling optimistic, if not also tired 🥱 hehe
This post is a wonderful insight of what is yet to come (for me!) I've only just started querying... keeping everything crossed!
I'm wishing you all the luck in the world with your querying Mary... I'm looking forward to reading your Stats and Hacks post too! And as you know, I'm always happy to share advice.
Great post Simi.
As a writer with 30 years of finance experience in “a former life” this blend of left brain and right brain information speaks to me.
Just yesterday, I submitted my manuscript as a capstone project toward graduating with a MFA in May. After that, more editing then I begin the querying process.
Posts like yours help me prepare for what’s ahead.
Thanks (I think 😉)!
Congratulations on submitting your manuscript Brian! That’s a huge milestone. I’m so glad that sharing my experiences helps you… that’s what I found with all the blogs and posts I read whilst I was writing and querying.
How long do you have left on your MFA?
Congratulations on submitting your manuscript! That’s a huge milestone. I’m so glad that sharing my experiences helps you… that’s what I found with all the blogs and posts I read whilst I was writing and querying.
How long do you have left on your MFA?
Did you realise how difficult it is to be traditionally published? If you’re querying, how are you finding it?
Hi Simi. I don't know whether this is relevant. But seriously, are you waiting for the approval from an agent in this digital era?
People are monetising much more easily by publishing their creativity in social media, building their audience and self publish to their audience who loves to buy their book.
I appreciate your patience for months. I couldn't imagine myself in your place. Its seriously a horrible experience even when I imagine.
Its like one of the incident Nicolas Cole told in one of his interviews about which I have written a newsletter about.
Please check this out.
https://open.substack.com/pub/dhamodharrv/p/how-nicolas-cole-made-over-3-million?utm_source=share&utm_medium=android&r=50c9i9
Here is Nicolas Cole's interview speech with Ali Abdaal:
https://youtu.be/JIfEgvpEufU?si=EhTL8pS1fFpj85CG
Thank you for reading and sharing your thoughts.
I just thought people are not aware of these and thats why shared it.
If you are aware and still trying it for some other reasons, then please continue trying.
My intention was not to offend anyone who is trying. But want to share what I know about this topic which might be wrong.
If you feel like my understanding is wrong or irrelevant, please correct me. Thank you.