How to Figure Out What Era You’re In…
and the Ten Eras we all live through.
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A few months ago, over dinner with a friend who used to work as a full-time creative, she lamented the fact that she no longer had time to be artistic in the same way. It wasn’t just carving out time for her art, but the mental space she needed in order to discover what needed to be expressed. Unsurprising, considering she’s mothering young children while weathering life’s storms.
What made this stage of her life harder was seeing other people, me included, having the energy and clarity to pursue their own creative endeavours.
If you’ve been reading here for a while, you’ll know that I’m currently in the most productive period of my life after spending decades not creating at all.
I replied, This isn’t your era for that. This is your era for…
And it got me thinking about the purpose of different periods of our lives. Perhaps one of the reasons we feel dissatisfied, and occasionally resentful, is that we fail to recognise the value of the era we’re actually living through.
We assume that if there isn’t a visible achievement, a goal reached or a dream realised, we’re somehow wasting our days. That the mundanity of everyday life is meaningless compared with the towering peaks we want to conquer. It’s hardly surprising when days blur into one another, punctuated by glimpses of other people’s seemingly more exciting lives.
I’m not immune to this way of thinking.
Since that conversation, I’ve been reflecting on the ten eras I’ve already lived through. In the twisting roadmap of my life, there are only a handful of eras I recognised while I was in them.
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Looking back, the periods that mattered most weren’t the ones that felt successful at the time. There were years that seemed uneventful, even frustrating.
Years in which I appeared to be standing still.
Years in which other people seemed to be living technicolour lives, falling in love, capturing the zeitgeist and becoming their most authentic selves.
Only now do I realise those misunderstood years became the foundations of the life I live today. Of the person I am. A mosaic of ordinary days, laid one after another until they formed something solid.
That’s because some eras of life are for expansion, taking risks, embracing the world and all it offers.
Other eras are for building stability, investing in relationships, learning and growing.
Rather than looking at others, perhaps we should ask ourselves, ‘What should I be focused on in this period of my life?’
If it isn’t your era to write the novel, it might be your era to improve your writing craft, learn about publishing or build consistency in your creative practice.
If it isn’t your era to freelance, it might be your era to build financial security or teach yourself about branding and marketing.
If it isn’t your era to travel, it might be your era to learn about the history of the places you want to visit or pick up a language that makes future travel easier.
If it isn’t your era to have time to pursue your interests, it might be your era to invest in being present in your relationships and building your village.
Remember, those people who seem to have it all figured out often have years of unseen work behind them.
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Do you recognise any of these eras? Which period are you in now?
1. The Reinvention Era
Often marked by university, moving away, a new city or a completely different social circle. This is the era of trying on identities. You begin discovering which parts of yourself were chosen by you and which were inherited from family, school or circumstance. Everything feels exciting because almost anything still seems possible.
2. The Freedom Era
An era with fewer responsibilities and fewer limits. You go out when you want, stay out late, take trips on impulse and say yes without needing to justify it. It’s nights out, travel and independence, with no explanation required. Some of it becomes stories you tell for years. Some of it becomes lessons you only recognise later.
3. The False Becoming-a-Grown-Up Era
Usually your twenties. The era of pretending you’ve got it all figured out while hoping nobody else has either. You work long hours, travel, make plans, compare yourself relentlessly and wonder whether everyone else received a handbook that somehow missed you.
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4. The Friendship Era
The era when friendships become less accidental and more intentional. You begin choosing people who energise you, understand you and stay when life becomes complicated. Looking back, these relationships often shape your life far more than you realised at the time.
5. The Career Era
The years when work becomes your main focus. You’re building, striving, proving yourself and opening doors for your future. From the outside it can look successful. From the inside it often feels relentless. Even when it doesn’t bring fulfilment, it usually leaves you with skills, confidence and choices you rely on later.
6. The Relationship Era
The years when love, partnership, heartbreak or learning how to share your life with someone else takes centre stage. Sometimes this era shows you what you want. Sometimes it shows you what you’ll never accept again.
7. The Growing Era
Perhaps you travel, return to education or learn a skill that changes how you see the world. Perhaps you look inwards, learn to understand yourself and become the real you. This is the era of expanding perspective. You begin questioning assumptions you’ve carried for years and become more curious about people, places and ideas beyond your own experience.
8. The Caring Era
Whether through children, ageing parents, volunteering or supporting friends, this is an era of service. Your energy is directed outward. Progress feels harder to measure because much of what you’re building exists in someone else’s wellbeing.
9. The Creating Era
The era of turning ideas into something real. A novel. A business. A painting. A project. From the outside it can look productive. From the inside it often feels scary and you are plagued with doubts. You continue because the work matters, and the person you become through it matters even more.
10. The Healing Era
Perhaps the least visible era but most important. Recovery from what hurts you, reflection on what you really need and rebuilding after loss, burnout or change. Progress is slow, imperceptible even, until one day you look up and realise how far you’ve come.
Which era are you in now?
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Photo Credits: 1. Adrian Dascal on Unsplash 2. Lee on Unsplash
Think I am straddling 8 9 and 10!