I fully agree with the switch from "efficiency & performance" to "inner peace". However, I think that for every personality the journey is a bit different, so there is a possibility that the new setup will be seen by other people as ready-made, although it is not! It's so complicated. One needs to really know themselves well to drop all that doesn't work and keep the important things, and then experiment on top of it.
I honestly think it's the life work, to find the life that is fitting. And as world keeps changing, so will our setups and routines. Then again, the body changes, and this will impact it, too.
I am very active intelectually, but I hate sweating at sports. So I always did yoga and swimming — non-competitive, quiet, just being the one with water. However, at 40, every massage therapist I've met was pushing me to do weights. And I hate it in many ways, but now it's a routine and I can live with it. The paradox is that not everything that feels good is actually good, and vice versa. It's all so confusing.
When people say Tiktok kills their attention, I understand. But I live alone, and during dark, long mornings half an hour of people speaking in my room allows me to come back to the world of living. So it's not only about tools for me, but if we can use them for our good. Probably still being used by them of course, but that's not the main focus for me.
Or, nature. For many people recharging, for me, deeply overwhelming: colors, sounds, textures, lights. I need a long sleep after a day in the nature to come back to my slow self. So it's very individual, and we spend so much time managing the setup to keep it optimal 😩 no cookie-cutter solutions unfortunately.
I loved reading this Lena, and getting an insight into another person’s path. You’ve reminded me about a Philosophy for Children clip I watched when I was training where a group of 10 year olds have a discussion sparked by a single piece from a jigsaw puzzle…
A child said that everyone in life has their own jigsaw puzzle. When they are born they get the first piece and they spend their life trying to complete the puzzle. Some people are lucky and have an easy puzzle, like for 2 year olds, with a few big pieces that fit together quickly. Others get a really complex puzzle and searching for the pieces is their life’s quest. Everyone gets the final piece when they die.
What a beautifully written reflection, Lena and so tender, too.
I completely agree that there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution, and that we each have to find our own path toward feeling comfortable with ourselves.
I remember my grandmother used to say there are “black” and “white” worries in life, and that it is worth putting energy into the black ones, rather than wasting it on the white. When I was younger, I didn’t really understand what she meant. But as I get older, and life gets tougher, I’m beginning to see the wisdom in her seemingly simple philosophy: you have to make choices and channel your efforts where they are truly needed.
Combined with my equally wise uncle’s life motto: “there is no ideal happiness”, I feel (mostly) equipped to face the music. 😉
P.S. My daughter studied in Berlin for three years, and I absolutely loved the vibe of the city. (someone once called it a "playground for adults"), the eclairs at Einstein Café, the culture, and my fabulous hotel in Mitte… I’d love to visit again someday!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this… I think one of the biggest challenges in life is knowing where to channel our efforts and attention… perhaps this is true wisdom? Perhaps this is something we never truly achieve but the pursuit of understanding is what builds a happier life.
It sounds like my life before a panic attack I mistook for a heart attack led me to a hospital’s ER where I came to terms with myself. A night in hospital and a day off work (I was also a teacher, a single mum, a morning cyclist, weekend surf lifesaver instructor, mother, daughter, friend, healthy lunch and meal provider, 😁 and all the things) gave me pause. I began my novel (write at 5to 6am) walked more, gave up morning cycling and swapped my fast bike for a slow bike- with basket- and listened to my daughter when she said it was fine because she’d outgrown surf club in her mid teens. I still worked (that’s recently redirected) but I took time to focus on the friends I loved and the life I needed. What a great decision you made. So resonant with mine! Thanks for sharing. 💐
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Annie. I’m reading about your life and seeing myself in your experiences. When the pace of life is fast and stressful, it is so hard to see a way to step back - to even see value in the slow. I’m sorry it was such a scary experience that redirected your life, but it sounds like it led to the decisions that brought you into a different and much needed phase of life.
I don't think I've gone through a dopamine reset but I'm so excited to give it a go. I'm super type A. I'm not sure how to be house l bored but I'm going to give it a try.
I usually keep myself so busy too - I don’t know if I could have ‘forced’ myself to do this but I definitely came to it naturally and it worked for me. I hope it does for you too Alyssa!
Wow you write really well! You really paint a picture with your words, its almost like I'm right there with you. I completely agree that peace and quiet bring out creativity. We are constantly overstimulated and busy in modern life, but whenever I have moments where I'm not surrounded by distractions and spend some time not doing anything, it often opens up space for introspection. In those moments, I'll have my most creative ideas.
It’s funny that sometimes when I get into bed and can’t fall asleep right away, my mind starts wandering and that’s when I come up with some of my best blog ideas or stories. I’m realizing that’s probably a sign I need to give myself more quiet time during the day, instead of saving it for bedtime.
Thank you so much for reading Krupa. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed reading my thoughts. Modern life really does suck all of our creativity from us unless we are intentional about how we use our time (love your Substack name btw!).
I also find the moments before I fall asleep the best for lucid dreaming and processing ideas but I never remember them the next day!
Very much like you intentionally making space for running, lifting weights, reading, writing and journaling has helped me reconnect with my innermost self deeply and find my life’s calling
I went from being a storyteller to following a conventional path in education and career which led me away from writing for 13 years and the pause and intentionality helped me find my way back a little more than a year ago.
That must be such a huge life-change and I’m glad that you’ve seen such an important shift in your family dynamic. Life is such a trade off between things we think we want and things we actually need.
quiet evening at home with the family, we recently had a new baby and my husband left toxic chef life behind after 16 years so we’re enjoying being able to have dinner dinners together and he’s getting the pleasure of being here and seeing his children get ready for bed just reminded me that the sacrifices are worth an important moments like this
Oh I love this, Simi. I feel it deeply because my own journey to writing was a covid-induced life transition. It's so liberating to learn that, when we pare back and get quiet with ourselves, we have everything we need. We can't see it until we're ready.
I know that Covid has inflicted terrible loss and trauma, but I also feel that the externally induced shutdown to many aspects of our lives which were just ‘noise’ has also left its benefits. It feels like you’ve been on a similar journey Maria, to get back to the true essence of yourself!
Oh yes. I so relate to this - soul-destroying HIIT workouts and all. (For me, pilates has been the mind-blowing new discovery.) I really love how you just followed your own instincts to undertake this detox, rather than following a plan as such. It really is about tuning and listening. Something I'm always trying to get better at!
That idea that you had to "prune back" your life and find "boredom" to let your creativity emerge... it's so true. It makes me wonder, though... what if the world is so loud you can't find boredom? Do you have to invent it?
I'm completely obsessed with this because my novella is the dark mirror of your journey. The protagonist is a child in a Gaza camp... he has no stillness. So he invents his own "boring" system just to survive. He builds a 'Ministry,' a rigid, cold bureaucracy, just to have a quiet, procedural space to stand while the world is screaming. That's his 'stillness' that unlocks his archive.
It's a profound (and gripping) read, about an hour. Since you write so beautifully about finding your voice in the quiet, I thought this story about inventing the quiet might really resonate.
What did stillness give you? What did you rediscover in your own reinvention? Do any of these lessons resonate with you?
I fully agree with the switch from "efficiency & performance" to "inner peace". However, I think that for every personality the journey is a bit different, so there is a possibility that the new setup will be seen by other people as ready-made, although it is not! It's so complicated. One needs to really know themselves well to drop all that doesn't work and keep the important things, and then experiment on top of it.
I honestly think it's the life work, to find the life that is fitting. And as world keeps changing, so will our setups and routines. Then again, the body changes, and this will impact it, too.
I am very active intelectually, but I hate sweating at sports. So I always did yoga and swimming — non-competitive, quiet, just being the one with water. However, at 40, every massage therapist I've met was pushing me to do weights. And I hate it in many ways, but now it's a routine and I can live with it. The paradox is that not everything that feels good is actually good, and vice versa. It's all so confusing.
When people say Tiktok kills their attention, I understand. But I live alone, and during dark, long mornings half an hour of people speaking in my room allows me to come back to the world of living. So it's not only about tools for me, but if we can use them for our good. Probably still being used by them of course, but that's not the main focus for me.
Or, nature. For many people recharging, for me, deeply overwhelming: colors, sounds, textures, lights. I need a long sleep after a day in the nature to come back to my slow self. So it's very individual, and we spend so much time managing the setup to keep it optimal 😩 no cookie-cutter solutions unfortunately.
I also think a lot about these things.
I loved reading this Lena, and getting an insight into another person’s path. You’ve reminded me about a Philosophy for Children clip I watched when I was training where a group of 10 year olds have a discussion sparked by a single piece from a jigsaw puzzle…
A child said that everyone in life has their own jigsaw puzzle. When they are born they get the first piece and they spend their life trying to complete the puzzle. Some people are lucky and have an easy puzzle, like for 2 year olds, with a few big pieces that fit together quickly. Others get a really complex puzzle and searching for the pieces is their life’s quest. Everyone gets the final piece when they die.
Thanks! Wonderful description of life....kids are wise, kids are artists!...
Yes they are!
What a beautifully written reflection, Lena and so tender, too.
I completely agree that there is no “one-size-fits-all” solution, and that we each have to find our own path toward feeling comfortable with ourselves.
I remember my grandmother used to say there are “black” and “white” worries in life, and that it is worth putting energy into the black ones, rather than wasting it on the white. When I was younger, I didn’t really understand what she meant. But as I get older, and life gets tougher, I’m beginning to see the wisdom in her seemingly simple philosophy: you have to make choices and channel your efforts where they are truly needed.
Combined with my equally wise uncle’s life motto: “there is no ideal happiness”, I feel (mostly) equipped to face the music. 😉
P.S. My daughter studied in Berlin for three years, and I absolutely loved the vibe of the city. (someone once called it a "playground for adults"), the eclairs at Einstein Café, the culture, and my fabulous hotel in Mitte… I’d love to visit again someday!
Best of luck with your blog—I’ll be reading!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts on this… I think one of the biggest challenges in life is knowing where to channel our efforts and attention… perhaps this is true wisdom? Perhaps this is something we never truly achieve but the pursuit of understanding is what builds a happier life.
It sounds like my life before a panic attack I mistook for a heart attack led me to a hospital’s ER where I came to terms with myself. A night in hospital and a day off work (I was also a teacher, a single mum, a morning cyclist, weekend surf lifesaver instructor, mother, daughter, friend, healthy lunch and meal provider, 😁 and all the things) gave me pause. I began my novel (write at 5to 6am) walked more, gave up morning cycling and swapped my fast bike for a slow bike- with basket- and listened to my daughter when she said it was fine because she’d outgrown surf club in her mid teens. I still worked (that’s recently redirected) but I took time to focus on the friends I loved and the life I needed. What a great decision you made. So resonant with mine! Thanks for sharing. 💐
Thank you so much for reading and commenting Annie. I’m reading about your life and seeing myself in your experiences. When the pace of life is fast and stressful, it is so hard to see a way to step back - to even see value in the slow. I’m sorry it was such a scary experience that redirected your life, but it sounds like it led to the decisions that brought you into a different and much needed phase of life.
I don't think I've gone through a dopamine reset but I'm so excited to give it a go. I'm super type A. I'm not sure how to be house l bored but I'm going to give it a try.
I usually keep myself so busy too - I don’t know if I could have ‘forced’ myself to do this but I definitely came to it naturally and it worked for me. I hope it does for you too Alyssa!
Yes we shall see… 😂
Good luck!
Wow you write really well! You really paint a picture with your words, its almost like I'm right there with you. I completely agree that peace and quiet bring out creativity. We are constantly overstimulated and busy in modern life, but whenever I have moments where I'm not surrounded by distractions and spend some time not doing anything, it often opens up space for introspection. In those moments, I'll have my most creative ideas.
It’s funny that sometimes when I get into bed and can’t fall asleep right away, my mind starts wandering and that’s when I come up with some of my best blog ideas or stories. I’m realizing that’s probably a sign I need to give myself more quiet time during the day, instead of saving it for bedtime.
Thanks so much for this thought-inspiring post!
Thank you so much for reading Krupa. I’m so pleased that you enjoyed reading my thoughts. Modern life really does suck all of our creativity from us unless we are intentional about how we use our time (love your Substack name btw!).
I also find the moments before I fall asleep the best for lucid dreaming and processing ideas but I never remember them the next day!
I love this. Beautiful.
Thank you August - really appreciate you taking the time to read and comment!
Very much like you intentionally making space for running, lifting weights, reading, writing and journaling has helped me reconnect with my innermost self deeply and find my life’s calling
It’s so nice to hear that other people have been on similar paths to rediscovery. What is your calling Priyanka?
I went from being a storyteller to following a conventional path in education and career which led me away from writing for 13 years and the pause and intentionality helped me find my way back a little more than a year ago.
I work in education too and found my way back to writing… still teaching though and still love it!
Nice to meet you! I’m still a scientist, hopefully writing makes me a better one 🙂
Writing makes everything better!
100% agree!
loving this article looking forward to subscribing
That must be such a huge life-change and I’m glad that you’ve seen such an important shift in your family dynamic. Life is such a trade off between things we think we want and things we actually need.
I’m so pleased it hit home for you Elise - is there anything in particular that spoke to you?
quiet evening at home with the family, we recently had a new baby and my husband left toxic chef life behind after 16 years so we’re enjoying being able to have dinner dinners together and he’s getting the pleasure of being here and seeing his children get ready for bed just reminded me that the sacrifices are worth an important moments like this
Oh I love this, Simi. I feel it deeply because my own journey to writing was a covid-induced life transition. It's so liberating to learn that, when we pare back and get quiet with ourselves, we have everything we need. We can't see it until we're ready.
I know that Covid has inflicted terrible loss and trauma, but I also feel that the externally induced shutdown to many aspects of our lives which were just ‘noise’ has also left its benefits. It feels like you’ve been on a similar journey Maria, to get back to the true essence of yourself!
Oh yes. I so relate to this - soul-destroying HIIT workouts and all. (For me, pilates has been the mind-blowing new discovery.) I really love how you just followed your own instincts to undertake this detox, rather than following a plan as such. It really is about tuning and listening. Something I'm always trying to get better at!
I do still love a high-intensity work out from time to time - but they are far fewer and further apart!
This post really hit me, Simi.
That idea that you had to "prune back" your life and find "boredom" to let your creativity emerge... it's so true. It makes me wonder, though... what if the world is so loud you can't find boredom? Do you have to invent it?
I'm completely obsessed with this because my novella is the dark mirror of your journey. The protagonist is a child in a Gaza camp... he has no stillness. So he invents his own "boring" system just to survive. He builds a 'Ministry,' a rigid, cold bureaucracy, just to have a quiet, procedural space to stand while the world is screaming. That's his 'stillness' that unlocks his archive.
It's a profound (and gripping) read, about an hour. Since you write so beautifully about finding your voice in the quiet, I thought this story about inventing the quiet might really resonate.
You can read it for free here: https://silentwitnessin.substack.com/p/what-was-here?r=6r3orq
What an interesting concept for a story - thank you for sharing!
Thank you so much, Simi! That really means a lot, especially coming from a fellow writer. I'm so glad the concept resonated.